Finding Joy and Support as a Caregiver
Caring for a spouse is easier with support.
Thanks to Terri Corcoran, a full-time caregiver and public relations chair for Well Spouse™ Association, for these tips on finding joy and support in the stresses of caring for a loved one.
How do you find the support that you need as a caregiver?
I find the support I need primarily from God Whom I have learned to depend on, by virtue of being in this very difficult caregiving situation. I also get support from the Well Spouse Assn., which provides emotional support and resources for spousal caregivers; I am very active in this wonderful, unique organization.
What brings you joy in caregiving?
What brings me joy is any step my ill husband can take or any word he can say (he is very disabled physically and cognitively by FXTAS, a genetic neurodegenerative condition which he has had for practically our whole 12 year marriage thus far – still going).
I am also very happy that I have cared for him at home, where he is happy and comfortable and very peaceful. I have kept him in as good general health as possible. As I look back over the very difficult years, I feel great that I have been able to give him so much love and care – and he still loves me too!
What are the biggest obstacles that you face in caring for your husband?
The biggest obstacles are of course my husband’s extreme disabilities – he needs help with all activities of daily living. I have home health aides 10-11 hours each day to help get him around, feed him, shower him, and stay with him when I go out.
Having to depend on aides who need lots of training and who come in all different levels of competence is probably the most difficult part of my job.
What is the most helpful caregiving tip that you could share with another caregiver?
- Find support groups of others going through what you are going through.
- Pace yourself. Full-time caregiving is like running a marathon; you have to find your comfort level of how much you can handle; never forget yourself, and listen to your body; find time EVERY day to do things you enjoy, even if it’s as simple as sitting quietly and reading.
- Exercise – essential for your own health as a caregiver and a wonderful way to ease stress.
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